This might seem early for a Wednesday blog post, but in other parts of the world, it’s perfect timing. This week I’m welcoming writer and blogger Kim Hepburn all the way from Australia. For our swap this week we decided to exchange some advice based on our personal experiences. Over on Kim’s site, I wrote about the mistakes I made attempting to get published, since she is finishing her urban fantasy book. On my site, she’s provided me (and you) with some advice about weddings. I’m really hoping to need this advice sooner, rather than later. Maybe a little Aussie luck is just what I’ve needed!
My name is Kim Hepburn. I’ve
been working on two very different books.
One book is a fiction book that
fits into the urban fantasy genre, the other is a short guide book for brides
to be based on the experiences and challenges I went though planning my
wedding. It’s called Ivory Truth and is finally finished. I plan to self publish
this book within the month.
I can be contacted on Twitter
My website is http://www.kimhepburn.com
Please enjoy an excerpt from
When Ben knelt down on one knee
and asked me to marry him I thought how exciting I get to marry the man of my
dreams and plan a wedding! I mean how hard can it be? Pick a colour theme, some
dresses, flowers and say ‘I do’ right? Wrong, well for me it wasn’t that simple
anyway, I had many challenges to face. Planning my wedding was one of the
biggest learning experiences of my life.
Now I have made it past the ‘I
do’ and am happily married I really want to share my experience with others so
they can enjoy the process and avoid some of the stressful situations I confronted.
If you’re not hiring a
professional wedding planner my first piece of advice is to get yourself a
wedding planner book and tick tasks off as you go.
Also listen to people’s advice
but make sure you don’t let anyone tell you what to do, and make sure you stay
positive because this is YOUR big day to shine!
I now have
learned a couple very valuable lessons. Firstly, don’t ask your bridesmaids to
be in your wedding until you have a confirmed date for your wedding. When I asked
my girls no wedding date was set and it ended up being 2 years before the
actual wedding date came around and please trust me when I tell you a lot can
happen to your friendships in 2 years. Peoples lives change. There is no rule
that says you need an even number in the bridal party, don’t pick people to
fill a spot. Ask people that mean something special to you. Another reason to
wait until you have a date is that you might have a very good friend that you
want in your wedding but she might have just given birth or be about to give
birth before or around your wedding date and it can be hard commitment being a
new mother and bridesmaid.
this I learned a little too late, you don’t only need your bridesmaids to help
you plan your wedding! Your friends help you will help you too, they will be
there regardless of weather they are a bridesmaid or not. That’s where I got it
wrong. I assumed your bridesmaids would be the only ones to help you and the
only ones you could ask for help. That’s not the case, all of your friends are
excited and happy to help and if you not sure just ask for their opinion on
what you need help with. You’ll be surprised at how much they want to help.
Look at how
busy your possible bridesmaids lives are now, none of that will change just
because they are in your wedding. If it’s hard to catch up just to hang out it
will be the same when they are your bridesmaids. Unless you are lucky and they
have had a wedding themselves or been in a wedding before and understand what
it’s all about when it comes to being a bridesmaid. When you have worked out
costing, let them know what you would like them to pay for as soon as you can.
People need time to pay for things and it’s not something you can just bring up
at the last minute. Set your expectations from the start, if you have none,
great. If you have any make sure you let them know exactly what they are like
involvement in planning, availability for trials and fittings. It’s your choice
what you pay for and it all depends on your budget. In some weddings
bridesmaids pay for everything, in others the bridal couple pay for them. For
our wedding it was a bit of both. I paid for hair, makeup trial, makeup on the
day, nails, flowers, dress material and half of the dress. All that will cost you
about $700 per bridesmaid unless you can find some good deals. The girls paid
for the half of the dress and we were super lucky that a family friend gave us
the bridesmaid shoes. It’s even worth having it worked out before you ask your
bridesmaids so they know what they need to pay.
At the end
of the day, you don’t need to ask your bridesmaids until 6 to 8 months out from
the wedding day. That’s when you’ll start looking at dresses and shoes for
them. Make sure you include them as much as possible in making decisions about
dresses and shoes. Just don’t forget that it’s your day and the decision is
yours ultimately. Be mindful of what you are asking them to wear, if one of
your bridesmaids says she is uncomfortable with the dress you have chosen, take
a step back and listen. There is nothing wrong with having everyone in the same
colour and different style dresses or different colours and the same style
No one will
care about your wedding as much as you do. Plenty of people say it and it’s so
**Update: Kim has just released this book already and it can
be purchased on Smashwords.
To check out more about Kim and her writing and to see my guest post visit her site.