Is Kick-ass Compatible With Kleenex?



on nearly any website related to reading and you will find entire discussion
groups dedicated to books with strong heroines. It seems kick-ass female
characters are popular in commercial fiction right now, and not just in books
for young women, but in books for a variety of audiences.  As an independent female and moderate
feminist, this trend is pleasing–to a point.             

love reading about and writing about female characters who are self-sufficient,
confident, and who every now and then kick a little ass.  But I also love when those same
characters admit (at least to themselves) to being afraid, insecure, and
sensitive, because, as a woman who also struggles occasionally with these
emotions, it makes these characters easier to relate to.  Real women, strong women, still have feminine qualities that
don’t make them any less kick-ass, yet it seems readers and viewers of
fictional females are quick to criticize a character who displays too much
emotion.  I understand wanting our
heroes and heroines to be a little bit stronger than the people we interact
with in real-life, but a woman doesn’t have to suppress all emotion to be
strong.  For that matter, despite
what society might say to our young boys and men, guys don’t have to either.

few years ago I was writing a paper about the females in the Harry Potter series, and was discouraged to see so many critics,
often females themselves, arguing that J. K. Rowling was exacerbating female
stereotypes in her books.  Their
reasoning often focused on the fact Hermione cried and displayed emotion too
often and Molly Weasley coddled her children and was a stay-at-home mother, as
if a teenage girl who didn’t hide her feelings and a mother who cared deeply
for her family couldn’t also be strong female role-models.  Hermione’s emotions didn’t get in the
way of her using her logic to save her two male co-characters any more than Molly’s love of her
family kept her from fighting evil (while also providing the best line in the
entire seven book series, just before killing another female character: “Not my daughter, you bitch!”).  These female characters’ compassion,
morality, and sensitivity occasionally made them vulnerable, but not weak.

after writing my paper defending the females in Rowling’s works, I began
writing my own novel.  I wanted my
protagonist to be a strong independent female, but as my story progressed, I
realized she cried or wanted to cry almost as often as she verbally or
physically kicked ass.  On one of
my earlier drafts I scratched the question, “Does Alex cry too much?”
in a corner of a page.  I worried
readers might view her as weak.  I
was tempted to edit out a majority of her emotions in order to keep her the
kick-ass heroine I had set out to write. 
It wasn’t until I took a step back and looked at the piece as a whole,
rather than hyper-focusing on scenes where Alex cried, that I realized I had
created the female I wanted to. 
She was smart, sassy, and both mentally and physically strong.  She was also capable of feeling
compassion, having her heart broken, and falling helplessly in love.  If I edited those parts out I’d be left
with a character who looked like a woman, but acted, spoke, and thought like a
guy.  I didn’t want a dude with
boobs or a pit bull with lipstick; I wanted a woman with guts, brains, and a
heart.  I’m hoping for my sake and
my readers’ that I got it right.

a shame that in fantasy, action, and adventure books, guys got all the glory
for so long, and it’s great that female characters (and writers) are fighting
their way to the forefront of these genres, so long as we’re not doing it by
simply slapping heels on our heroes, renaming them heroines, and calling it a
day.  It’s not stereotypical to
admit there are distinct differences between the genders, but it is sexist to
deem certain qualities of either gender as weak.  Most readers will appreciate a writer who’s willing to
embrace and celebrate all sides of a female character.  After all, there’s plenty of room in
most women’s handbags to pack both a Taser and some tissues.  



Filed under Writing

6 responses to “Is Kick-ass Compatible With Kleenex?

  1. Lisa

    This may be my fab post so far. Would have been a good topic for the hunger games discussion. Excellent points Lauren.


  2. Lisa

    Yeah …. I meant fav. Thwarted by auto correct.


  3. We’re thinking along the same lines! Strong female characters do not need to have abandoned all female pursuits; they don’t need to be tomboys; there’s plenty of character to go around without hitting either the old-fashioned stereotypes of the “new” stereotypes…


  4. Dear Lauren, Thank you for this excellent post on a great topic, and one particularly timely for me. When writing my first book, I was very conscious of trying to keep my female protagonist strong, and found myself editing out some of the emotions I’d first portrayed – particularly the crying. During my editors’ and publisher’s rewrites, those emotions found their way back in (although they’d never seen them in my first drafts!). At first, it irritated me, and I thought “Who are they to make my heroine a weepy weak soul?” But like you said, as I looked back at it all together, it was more realistic and gave her the dimension she really had, and couldn’t control. And I haven’t heard one reader comment that they believed she was weak or weepy.As far as timely, I’m currently working on the sequel, and am working through the same issue. Perhaps this time I will keep those emotions in my first drafts, and let the editors/publisher decide if I hit it right, or it needs to be toned down. Thanks again for the great advice – and touch of humor.


  5. Lauren's Blog

    Glad it helped, Valerie!  And thanks for the thoughtful comments.
    : )


  6. Hi Lauren,
    That’s so interesting. In my novel about teenage bullying, all my editors said that the character, who was a victim, was too weak. I struggled so much with making her the strong female character, because she was struggling to be accepted and with her own confidence. In these stories, I am finding it particularly difficult to write a character who is strong, yet a victim. Thanks for this post!


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