My Favorite New Four-letter Word

            For
the final blog of the month, I’m straying from the topic of writing and
focusing on the other dominating feature in my life this week: snow.  Yes, for those of us living in New
England, snow has become our favorite new four-letter word.  And it fits the category
perfectly.  First off, a creative
person ought to be able to use a good four-letter word as various parts of
speech. (My brother went through a phase in high school when he could use his
favorite four-letter word as nearly all eight parts in one utterance, much to
the dismay of my mother, hidden amusement of my father, and total envy of
me.)  Snow meets this
requirement.  For instance, you
wake up to see it is snowing (action verb)–again, spend twenty minutes putting
on layers of snow gear (adjective) so that you can shovel the snow (noun)
hoping all the while you don’t slip, which of course you do, shouting, possibly
in coordination with a few other curses, “SNOW!” (interjection).  If that wasn’t enough to land it
squarely in the four-letter word domain, the mere mention of it elicits giggles
from school children, who obviously have no understanding of make-up days in
June.  Speaking of it in the
lunchroom is frowned upon and leads to numerous dirty looks, mostly from
co-workers with long commutes and no snowblowers.  And, finally, despite the fact that no one thinks it is
really an appropriate topic to lead off the world news, the media continue to
treat it with as much drama as a politician sex scandal.

            With
that said, it’d be easy for me to gripe for another couple hundred words about
this cursed form of precipitation. 
But really, that’s been over done this week.  Instead I’m going to be one of those obnoxious people who
tries to find the silver lining in those crusty brown mountains of snow.  Put down the snowballs, you can’t hit
me through cyber-space; you’ll just short out your keyboards.  And when you think about it, this
month’s snow has gotten to be ridiculous, and with ridiculousness comes
humor.  No, it wasn’t funny when I
got stuck on a back road on my ill-fated attempt to get to a professional
development day; it was stressful as hell.  The irony and humor came later when I realized the only
reason I was so eager to get to work was that I was looking forward to my
class: Relaxation for the Stressed Educator.  Yup, I could have used some deep breathing methods when I
thought I’d be hit by the first car able to make it down the hill I couldn’t
get up.  Then there’s the fact that
I chose this winter to give up my gym membership and brave the elements of
outdoor running, only to have the sidewalks of my route buried in three feet of
snow.  At first I was annoyed that
what I saved in gym costs I’ve spent on cold weather gear.  But today, as I was marking a wall of
snow with tic marks, in order to keep track of the number of times I’d
monotonously circled my condo complex’s parking lots, I realized how amusing I
must appear to my neighbors.  I can
just picture the nosy old lady in building two, who stared at me each lap,
wondering whether the cold and snow had disoriented me so badly that I couldn’t
remember what building I lived in. 
Finally, there’s the sheer absurdity of what we wear when it snows.  Any sense of fashion I may have had
flew out the window weeks ago (and if it was smart, it flew south!).  Piling on multiple pairs of socks and
reacquainting myself with the long johns of my childhood should frustrate
me.  But, really, have you ever
looked at someone wearing long johns? 
They’re pretty amusing.  Top
off the look with a hat with baubles, and suddenly snow wear is sheer comedy.

            Then
again, my ability to find humor in snow may have less to do with my
glass-half-full outlook on life and more to do with my knowledge that three
weeks from today I’ll be posting my blog from beside the heated pool of my
parents’ condo association in warm, sunny Florida!  Okay, commence the hate mail and snowball throwing.

 

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “My Favorite New Four-letter Word

  1. Linz

    I read this out loud to David and we both laughed hysterically about the fashion, as he was sporting green long johns and a red fleece – somewhat resembling an elf!

    Like

  2. Hello, man! I am totally acclaim this way of assessment and all of connected.

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  3. Вода, вода, вода автор учись писать информативно, А то много букв мало толку.

    Like

  4. blog.laurengrimley.com is very informative !

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